That moment you realize you might be 70 years old…

My drivers license still says 22, at least for the month.

But I’m fresh out of my second music festival in 3 weeks, and I’m beginning to think my parents are lying about my birth year.

For an allergy-ridden asthmatic, FYF can be a struggle. Every year by Sunday I wind-up on the floor somewhere wheezing (without fail), covered in dust and bbq sauce…yet I always come back for more. Raise your hand if you had some brews with your 24-hour zyrtec and fell asleep in the beer garden to Washed Out! Just me? Oh.

Defeated, I sit on my couch reflecting on the weekend, and all I can think about is how much ass Kim Deal kicks.

At 52 she’s still doing exactly what she’s been doing all along, playing perfect rock music for us. I don’t have the chance to see women above the age of 26 rocking out on stage often, I mean really rocking. That said, seeing The Breeders was a treat, and as it turns out, pretty damn inspiring.

Fortunately for us, this FYF line-up was jam packed with ladies of all ages who know how to shred (see Lemuria, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, My Bloody Valentine).

Lesson learned: Next year, I’ll be armed with my chick punk band, non-drowsy allergy medication, and some zeal. See you from the stage my friends.

On a completely separate note, how great was this song live?

FYF Forecast!

In case you misplace your excel spreadsheet of amalgamated blog posts regarding “groups not to miss at FYF,” we’ve provided you something even better- a forecast of how this weekend’s festivities may play out:

Plan elaborate marriage proposal to Kim Deal during their performance of “Do You Love Me Now?” that involves inflatable pool, Roman candle and siamese carrier pigeon.

Have locker keys switched with Damon Albarn of Deerhunter. He catches me using his Neti pot in an outhouse, and confronts me. The situation escalates quickly as he throws the first punch, but is carried away by the wind into the sunset.

Deerhunter cancels. The Vines fill in and perform all of their 2002 debut, “Highly Evolved.”

Washed Out spins “Feel It All Around” for all of 40 min. set.

Crystal Antlers perform Black Randy’s “I Slept In An Arcade,” joined by Black Randy’s dead body slumped in a lawn chair in a “Weekend at Bernie’s” fashion. Sunglasses provided by co-sponsor, Chili Beans.

Buy $80 pair of Chili Beans sunglasses. they snap in half in the pit for Metz. Write strongly worded letter in chalk on their sunglasses mural. Break it in half.

Designated Gongbanter inhaler break.

During the second chorus of “Two-Headed Dog,” Roky Erickson showers the crowd with half-chewed Buffalo Ranch Ruffles crumbs.

“Kimya Dawson or King Buzzo?” Contest

Yeah Yeah Yeahs seduce crowd for 20 sensual minutes, and Death Grips violently, but consensually skullf**k them into submission for the next hour.

Choked out by member of “The Locust.”  Die happy having seen God speak through Jonathan Richman.

In the meantime, be charmed or revolted by this video of headliner MGMT at one of their very first shows, giggling through a rendition of one of the greatest songs ever:

See you there!